Truly An Addiction
by anime-patriot
Summary: Story in Kagome's POV: I don't know why I stay. I hate it. I hate him. I hate myself. Yet I love him. And I don't understand why. One-shot from LJ Prompt. Read and Enjoy!


**Hey everyone, this is a quick one-shot I started writing today in school. It's one of my darker fics and is inspired by**_** Love The Way You Lie**_** by Eminem and Rihanna. I hope you all like it and please review!**

**Side-Note: I know Inuyasha would not be this sort of person but in this fic he is.**

**Disclaimer: I ****DO NOT**** own Inuyasha, Inuyasha: The Final Act, or the rights to the song **_**Love The Way You Lie**_** by Eminem ft. Rihanna.**

**Warning: The following story contains extreme domestic violence, sex, and other mature themes. If any of this makes you uncomfortable in ANY way shape or form. Please do not read. I do not want to upset anyone, anywhere for it is not my goal.**

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Everything used to be perfect between us. Chocolate, flowers of every sort, a call just to say _I love you._ But over the past few months everything has changed…

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_That's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_That's alright because i love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times; I had been up all night. His strong arm was draped over my waist. I wonder what time he finally came back home since he was out late _"working." _My suspicions were confirmed when I looked down at his hand. _Kikyo-Call Me. _It read, with her number written clearly in permanent marker under the name.

I sat up quickly, pushing his arm off of me. He woke up an angered and confused look on his face. Those eyes…those grey eyes that had once been so gentle and caring, were now filled with anger, violence, and jealousy.

I screamed at him, "Another slut for the collection, huh?" I was fed up and I started hitting him. He grew angrier, sitting up and grabbing me by my shoulders at first shaking me before throwing me back down on the bed, he tried to pin me down. I screamed at him unintelligibly.

"Who do you think you are?" He yelled over me. I watched as his face began to turn red with anger, the veins beginning to show in his neck. His eyes feral. I narrowed my eyes at him, still enraged. I sat up as best I could, "Fuck you, Inuyasha!" I shouted and spit at him. That was something I'd never done to him before.

He moved from above me, wiping his cheek off. I took advantage of this moment as I got off of the bed quickly. I grabbed the duffle bag that I always keep pack, never knowing when I'd work up the courage to actually leave him like I had tried once before. I walked out of the bedroom.

_I can't tell you what it really is_

_I can only tell you what it feels like_

_And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe_

_I can't breathe but i still fight while i can fight_

_As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight_

_High off of love drunk from my hate_

_It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate_

_And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me_

_And I love it, wait, where you goin'?_

_I'm leavin' you, no you ain't come back_

_We're runnin' right back, here we go again_

_So insane, cause when it's goin' good its goin' great_

_I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane_

_But when its bad its awful, I feel so ashamed I snap_

_Whose that dude? I don't even know his name_

_I laid hands on her_

_I never stoop so low again_

_I guess I don't know my own strength_

I headed for the front door, I didn't care that I only had on boy shorts and a white tee shirt on. Inuyasha stormed out of the bedroom, walking after me, "Where the fuck are you going?" He said to me.

"I'm done. I'm leaving you!" I shouted back. He grabbed the duffle bag and yanked it. I tried to keep hold of it but let go. He threw it across the room and I pushed him away from me. He came towards me again, slapping me across my face.

I quickly recovered and swung my fist at him, making contact with his jaw. That only infuriated him more. He grabbed me by my arm and swung me around to the wall, my back hitting it.

I watched as he brought his fist back, it seemed to be almost in slow motion. I closed my eyes and braced myself for his punch. I heard a thud next to my head and I opened my eyes seeing that he had punched a hole into the wall. That was only one of many we've had to patch because of our fighting.

I shook my head, a few tears rolling down my cheek. All my frustration and anger was boiling to the top. My mind raced with thoughts and memories that we had together. His hand found my neck and I was ready for him to try and choke me.

He pressed his lips to mine instead in a rushed kiss. What sickens me the most is that I kiss him back. My thoughts exploded in my head; maybe I'm addicted to this. Addicted to him. The hate. The abuse. The yelling. The cheating. The hitting. All of it.

His tongue slipped past my lips as he pushed down my boy shorts. I stepped out of them, keeping our lips together. He lifted me against the wall while our tongues teased each other, twisting together. He pressed his hips against mine. I knew what he wanted.

Lately this was the only thing that stopped our arguments. Wild, angry, sometimes violent sex. Our lips moved together perfectly. I wrapped my legs around his waist, letting him keep me braced while I stripped off my shirt quickly, tossing it to the floor.

I kissed him again, my hands on either side of his face, my tongue flicking over his parted lips. He smirked that damn smirk of his, that same smirk that has always turned me on. I hate myself so much for wanting him…needing him.

My hands moved down and found his bare chest as we continued our heated kiss. I felt his cock hardening against my core as he began to rock his hips. He nipped and bit at my lips, biting me too hard which caused me to wince in response.

He had grown so much rougher with me during sex. Yet I've grown accustomed to it and have even learned to like it. That being another thing I despise about myself. He kept a hand on my hip while his other ventured lower to pull down his loose-fit sweatpants from his hips.

Nothing stood between his cock and me now. He looked at me, nothing but lust in his eyes, which was at one point or another love.

I shifted my hips up and he slid himself inside of me. I groaned, throwing my head back and he immediately started rocking his hips.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_That's alright because i like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_That's alright because i love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

He moved his lips down my jaw to my neck, whispering how good I felt to him. I moaned in response, yet my mind still raced. I wished for the time back when we were happier and things were better. Before he showed me his true self.

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe_

_When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em_

_Got that warm fuzzy feeling_

_Yeah them chills used to get em_

_Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em_

_You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em_

_Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em_

_You push pull each other's hair_

_Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em_

_So lost in the moments when you're in em_

_It's the face that's the culprit, controls ya both,_

_So they say it's best to go your separate ways_

_Guess that they don't know ya_

_Cause today that was yesterday_

_Yesterday is over, it's a different day_

_Sound like broken records playin' over_

_But you promised her next time you'll show restraint_

_You don't get another chance_

_Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again,_

_Now you get to watch her leave out the window_

_Guess that's why they call it window pane_

When we had first met it was in a bar. He approached me in his sly and smooth way. He treated me to a few drinks even. I gave him my number and told him to call me. I knew when I saw him go to another woman we he thought I had left that I should have never returned his calls. It was just something about him that drew me in.

Our dates were perfect, we talked, laughed, and had great times. When we kissed it was like fireworks. He had jealousy issues but nothing beyond that. He even told me he loved me six months in and I loved him too.

Yet he wouldn't come home or call me feeding me bullshit about having to work late. He would come home smelling of various perfumes, hickies upon his neck. New numbers always appearing in his phone. Yet he never cheated on me…And I was too blinded by my want to be with him to leave right then and there. Even with him accusing me of being unfaithful when I wasn't.

Everything after that point started falling down hill. He no longer tried to hide sneaking around very often. That angered me. And he began to show his real temper and violent side. He started to yell. Yelling turned into slapping. Slapping turned to punching. Punching turned to choking. Choking turned to straight out beatings.

I've had to hide in the bathroom while he punched holes in the walls, yelling at the top of his lungs over something he said I had done wrong. Calling me all sorts of names. Every insulting name in the book that you can think of.

He'd pound on the bathroom door, demanding that I let him in. I never did, knowing that opening the door in those moments he'd hit me, beat me, possibly worse. He nearly kicked the door down multiple times. Then when that didn't work, he'd destroy more things in the house. Broken glasses and plates. A broken television once. He had even punched and broken a few windows and mirrors. All the while cursing my name.

Yet I take it all. He still tells me he loves me. I tell him I love him. But that word loses all its meaning once violence comes into play. Yet we still say it. Yet we still make love, no. Scratch that. Yet we still fuck. Yet we still hug and kiss. Yet I'm still with him.

It soon began to become daily routine. Not always punching or choking. But always screaming, shouting, yelling. Other times we'd actually get along. We kissed, hugged, made love, and looked into each other's eyes. The passion we had for one another showing through once again. Then he started to figure alcohol would make things better all the time. Right…

All the alcohol did was make him more violent as well as me. And it only made it easier for me to succumb to him.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_That's alright because i like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_That's alright because i love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

My nails raked over his back as he grinding his hips against mine, continuing his hard and deep thrusts. He had moved us over to the couch. He still had a hand on my hip. The other was on my neck again and he choked me lightly.

I only moaned, keeping my eyes closed. I felt sick to my stomach for letting him do this to me yet again. But more so for wanting more of it. "Harder…" I heard myself moan out. He pulled my hips up and immediately began driving his hard cock into me harder.

My moans and screams of pleasure mixed with pain got louder. His hand tightened on my neck, turning us both on more; even though I hated that I let him do that to me. I let him own me. Use me. I opened my eyes slightly; he was looking at my face. His lips parted as he panted, rocking his hips back and forth hard.

_Now i know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean_

_And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine_

_But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me_

_When it comes to love you're just as blinded_

_Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me_

_Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems_

_Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano_

_All I know is I love you too much to walk away though_

_Come inside; pick up the bags off the sidewalk_

_Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk?_

_Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball_

_Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall_

_Next time there won't be no next time_

_I apologize even though i know its lies_

_I'm tired of the games I just want her back_

_I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to fuckin' leave again_

_I'm tie her to the bed and set this house on fire_

He would always apologize after he had calmed down. He'd treat me out to dinner. Buy me a teddy bear or a flower. Chocolates, etc. Too bad none of that stuff ever got rid of the black eyes, bloody noses, or the soreness of my body. My swollen lips. The list could go on.

Yet with the apology he found ways to blame me for what had just occurred. _"If you just wouldn't make me so crazy…" "I don't like to hit you or hurt you…" "Why do you make me do this?"_

I had heard it all. Same with his rare admittance of him being in the wrong with words such as, _"I promise I'll change." "I just have a short temper…I'll control it better. Don't leave me."_

I eventually just accepted it. He will always be the way he is.

I used to find myself scared for my life. He figured if he couldn't have me then no one could. He threatened my life on multiple occasions. But he would never kill me. He needs me around. He needs me around to be subservient to him. And I let him treat me as such.

Every time I get ready to leave him the words, _"If you ever try to fucking leave again, or even think of it, you are gonna wish you were dead."_ ring in my head.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_That's alright because i like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_That's alright because i love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

We had made back into the bedroom. I climaxed and tugged roughly on his black hair. He soon after released his seed inside of me, biting down roughly on my neck yet again. There were now teeth marks covering my neck and chest as well as almost painful hickies, and bruises on my hips as well as my neck where he had been choking me.

He pulled out of me and turned onto his side, pulling me close to him. I turned over so my back would face him. He kissed my cheek gently, whispering softly, "I'm sorry, Kagome. I love you. Let's go back to sleep."

I sighed softly to myself, "I love you too…" I closed my eyes trying to push away all my thoughts and feelings. I know I'm an idiot for staying with him, I tell myself that everyday. It's safer with him that away from him. At least in my eyes.

It's an odd thing. He loves me; at least he says he does. And I love him; at least I say I do.

I must truly have an addiction to him…to it all.

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**Alright that ends that one-shot. As you can all see I'm working on making these things longer. I hope you all liked it and please review letting me know what you thought of it. I'm actually very proud of this story…even if it is rather dark.**

**~So remember to please review~! ^_^**


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